why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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