So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
