She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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