So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
