I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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