After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize