your parents love me but you hate me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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