all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize