Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
