Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
