speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I did not marry a roomba.
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