Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
