i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
