No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
do herpes really smell.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
