One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
