I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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