The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
