he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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