What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
