You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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