I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
