tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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