he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Panties = found
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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