I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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