butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
