discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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