When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
They have beer where we have blood.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
