At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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