so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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