I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
