Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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