her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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