Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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