it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
