No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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