The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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