DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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