drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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