Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
