You work out of a Hotel?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
