He kissed a someone with a penis
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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