i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
