Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
