her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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