bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
