she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
