I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
