Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
