Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
