12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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