I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
