also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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