physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
