she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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