Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
