Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
