dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
