Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
